Hi guys, long time no talk I know,
I feel ashamed its been so long! Where the hell have I been and what the hell have I been doing?? College was never ever in my mind supposed to take up so much time that I can no longer do anything remotely close to artwork or music....
I love college. I'm really having a great time, new city, new system of learning, new people, new experiences. But is that all a good thing if I'm not getting to do the things that make me so happy? Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy in college, in fact I feel happy most of the time, which is saying something for my very emotional self! But I can't help but get that little niggling feeling that I'm losing something about myself that I never even anticipated losing. Is that crazy?
I went to paint the other day. Had taken the time to pick out and buy the perfect canvases that week and made myself time to just sit down and... paint! But I was scared to! I just made rough outlines of things, water-washed backgrounds, dawdled around what picture I was going to pick to paint. I'm think that I'm scared to discover that I'm so out of practice that I can no longer paint...
Thing is, I have no desire to paint. That sounds bad when I say it, but what I mean is I don't get ideas or inspiration to start a project like I used to-my mind just goes blank. And I'm kinda starting to feel a little panicky or slightly worried about it. Am I actually losing interest or is it just artist's block?
I don't get excited by music like I used to either. Sure I know that I'm in love with Queen, the Beatles, David Bowie, Billy Joel. But I just don't feel like I am, if that makes any sense? Take this for instance-I have the actual pleasure and privilege to be going to see Paul McCartney (and actual real life BEATLE!!) on the 20th of Dec. I have not got genuinely excited about it once. What has gone wrong here?? Of course I cant wait to go, but I have (or used to have) this insane obsessional quality where I'd research every last song, lyric, interview, personal life detail, right down to the colour of socks of an artist! Hasn't happened yet.
Deep, right, I can't help it, and this particular occasion is worse than usual as I haven't had an outpour in a long while. But I don't think I'm being overly sensitive here, I'm just wondering if I'm just going through a phase or am I just leaving behind two hobbies that were good while they lasted..?..I hope not....

This day last year I had the best night of my life. why? I'll tell you why! This was the day that I had the privilage and the pleasure to see Queen live in concert. It was, i can safely say, a truely amazing night!! (IS THIS JUST FANTASY!!) I can only hope it will happen again in the future....

Anyway just a small note to apologise for my neglect of artwork and comment/critique(UNDER PRESSURE!!) I have been so so busy with college (which I am absolutely loving by the way-I'M HAVING A BALL!!) that I havn't had a chance to even think about a new art project! I will make a big effort to turn my attention to something soon but I can make no promises.....I only hope I havn't lost the ability to paint! (ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!)

SO DEAR FRIENDS, I shall speak again soon, hopefully naxt time with a new submission.
Jill
xx

okay everybody shout if you hate
fucked up,
girly,
up and down,
horomone-driven,
psycotic,
irrational,
fluctuating,
exhausting
unexplicable,
mood swings!!!



something like this....
I HATE THOSE STUPID, GOD DAMN THINGS!


now add an adjective to the long, long list of how annoying they are....



feel better?

hi all. its been a while since i was on this thing so a little update.

i've been pretty busy over the past week: moving to dublin to live with my cousin's family as i start college tomorrow. have been here for the past week just getting used to the place and sussing out my future home-a BIG change to my little country village let me tell you!!(they actually have public transport!! )

went to coldplay concert last monday and i must say it was magnificent!!! and i'm not even that big of a fan but my god did it rock!

bleh, been feeling pretty run down between going out in this new city, concerts and generally adjusting that i'm feeling quite under the weather. not only does my voice sound like that of a pubescant boy(or a hoarse prostitute-funny how those can sound so alike...) but i'm sniffling and sneezing at a fierce rate and am having miniature panic attacks although i have made no conscious decision that i'm in anyway nervous about starting college in a new city. infact i seem more worked up and anxious about the fact that i feel like shit and i don't seem to be getting better but progressivly worse..... i'm hoping with the help of a brief settling in period that i'll soon calm down...

and omg the most amazing thing happened! i have actually found someone who (thats not on the internet-don't worry i still adore you guys!) has the same exquisite music taste as myself! how wierd and wonderful it is to converse aloud different songs and musicians that no one else i know even seem to have heard of! happy days....


and i'm developing a huge love for the beatles. okay a boderline obsession actually. i think i'm in love(for love is all you need) why oh why do i live in a time of unorigional and socially stunting music???
Jill xxx





P.s. i may not be on this for a while as college means i will be very busy so if i don't get around to commenting on new artworks, journals or indeed putting up my own i promise i will try my best to catch up soon!

The mayor from Spin City. [link] Brad from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. [link] THE SAME PERSON! i couldn't believe it when i all of a sudden made the connection when watching Rocky a few nights ago! Brad use to be hot...the mayor-was not! i now feel confused.....

The bat that i believed to be dead is infact only lying dormant. Meatloaf is bringing out a new album in 2010. Featuring Brian May. SWEET! in fairness if you're gonna come back you may as well do it in style.

9th Sept-The Beatles remastered albums!!

College starts Sept 21st-oh freedom sweet freedom!
okay i'm excited but also scared shitless-but it has to happen some time right?

Going to see Coldplay on the 14th which really is gonna rock.

boohoohoo my skin has gone to shit!

Learning to drive these days and i'm almost becoming good. have a little banger of a car that i'm practicing in. had kocked over a few kerb stones and drove into the ditch once or twice but i think i'm progressing...

oooh i love brian may... [link]

End of Big Brother!!! FOREVER!!! thank fuck!! i can't stand it plaguing the television channels ever fricken hour of the day!!!

AH!! a bulb just blew!

the new Harry potter film in my opinion is the biggest let down. nothing flowed properly, too many bits were cut and completely stupid bits were made up and put in for no reason at all, and i'm sorry but you'd think after 6 films some of the actors would actually know haw to act by now.....
The last harry Potter book is so completely AMAZING!!!! they better not fuck that one up...




there, i think i've made my point. thanks for listening.